FACT NOT FICTION: The Dom Files is a collection written by dominant men who share their perspectives, experiences and desires…
Oh we Doms do love our toys and gadgets. It seems that every time I travel on the airlines my bags are overweight simply for all the goodies I feel compelled to pack for my Muse. After all, one cannot possibly leave home without at least one good set of cuffs, a collar, blindfold, flogger, crop, clothespins, rope, anal jewelry, and a Hitachi with a good long extension cord. And that is just the starter kit. Its no wonder my suitcase is always over 50 pounds, before I put the clothes in! I can only imagine that I populate some strange lists at the TSA.
Yet for all the fun and games we play with the goodies and toys, the most powerful and memorable moments are those where there is nothing involved but the two of us; Master and Muse. You see, it is the power of two minds at work in a D/s relationship that really set things on fire, not the toys.
My Muse often tells me that she likes not wearing a blindfold early in our scenes because she likes to watch the transition I undergo from loving companion to strong Dominant. She says there is a look in my eyes, a drop in my voice, a presence that overtakes me. When she sees and senses this change she instantly becomes her most submissive self. She describes it as a force, where she feels suddenly powerless, as though she has no control over what happens next. She even goes so far as to describe it as a touch of fear, though she knows deep inside there is nothing to fear whatsoever. But in this transition both of us go to a different place, often together, and neither knowing precisely where we will end up. It is this mystery and sense of the unknown that provides such intrigue and energy to our times together.
When I imagine or plan a scene carefully in advance and think through all the toys I intend to use and how I want to use them, the locations I want to try, or the outfits I want worn, things often feel forced or even contrived. Sometimes I would go so far to say it does not feel like actual Dominance at all but rather “playing the role” of a Dominant. Indeed, in a recent instance it felt as though I were trying to “act” dominant because it was expected rather than actually “being” Dominant because it was how I felt. In point of fact, nothing felt right at all in that scene or others over that timeframe. I was forcing it and it showed. It was all about the toys, locations and tricks as opposed to just being my Dominant self. And guess what? It didn’t go so well; for either of us.
Dominance and submission always seem to go best when I just go with the flow of a moment, time, place, or mood. When I follow my instincts and seize a moment I need no toys, ties or tricks. A measured look, a gentle but firm hand resting on an arm, neck or thigh, a softly uttered “suggestion” is all that is necessary to completely shift gears and effortlessly enter an enhanced state of Dominance and submission that we refer to as “High Formal Protocol.” Instantly, eyes are cast down, hands are crossed behind the back, legs parted, and a formal low tone of communication overtakes us. There is a fairly distinct size difference between my Muse and I but in these moments I seem to grow larger, more powerful and Dominant and she seems to shrink and become more vulnerable and submissive. It is a remarkable transition that some might characterize as Jekyll and Hyde-like and others might more lightly characterize as akin to the metamorphosis of a butterfly. But regardless, it is a remarkable change that takes us to a new place each and every time.
It is when we feed completely and unaided off the energy of one another that the magic truly happens. No need for ties or toys. The bondage is entirely psychological yet stronger than chains. A subtle word or gesture is all that is required to command. Submission and obedience is complete. Unassisted hands can do remarkable things producing pleasure, pain or manipulation. The mind is even more remarkable providing each the unshakeable will to Dominate and submit respectively and eagerly. The desire to please becomes overwhelming, each in our own way; failure or disappointment so unthinkable that we will do most anything for the other, to the other, with the other. Almost in an altered state, we do the amazing and unimaginable, sometimes even the unthinkable. Without force, without restraint, we act simply by force of will; the will to submit and the will to Dominante. We become equal and opposite complimentary forces. The stronger the force, the greater the attraction. And through that attractive force we collide, merge, and become one for a time. Two minds moving in perfect unison for common purpose. It is this elusive D/s bond that we continually seek and routinely achieve. And each time we do, it only serves to strengthen our overall relationship still further.
My Muse and I are not particularly stellar dancers, at least not the form of dancing that requires two people to move in coordinated fashion. But when we set our minds free, follow our own internal music, shut the world out and leave the toys behind, our minds take us on a dance unlike any other. Twisting and twirling, gyrating and pulsing, we never know where it will lead but we trust that it will always be new, different, powerful and exciting.
Once in a while it is good to forget the toys and the plans, the desires and demands, the preconceived responses and outcomes. Simple pleasures between Dominant and submissive are often the deepest, most intimate and intense pleasures of all.
Caption © For The Love of a Submissive, 2013
Image Credit Unknown
Note: The above article has been re-blogged with permission from the author